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Title: It’s the way we are again.... This will not be going away….
Author![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
the_milky_way
Character(s)/Pairing: Jared Padalecki (Jared/Jensen)
Theme: 09 "Perspectives: Lives lived, chances taken"
Prompt(s): 12.Years, 13. Picture: coffee cup
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: This is not true. It never happened and I don't own anything.
Summary: This is how they solve it, how they get it right
This is the continuation piece to Maybe you and I got a lot to learn
It’s the way we are again
Years later Jared will look back on it and wonder why it took them so long, why it had to be such a huge thing and why they hurt each other so much along the way. Jared will think how the only reason for it have gone down like this was them being too insecure, too proud and maybe a little too hurt to get it solved any other way.
During the moment things get sorted though, Jared is anything but willing to reflect on things. He just wants to know what’s going to happen now, what’s going to happen between him and Jensen. He is still stuck on the fact that Jensen is actually there, close and not just a figment of his imagination. He still has a hard time making his mind believe, making his mind realise that this is his chance. He has been given another chance and he will take it.
The bowl with the soup is warm against his hands. His clutching to it, soaking up the warmth his body craves so much. Jensen is right next to him, is holding him close and Jared wonders if this is the beginning of something they both don’t really know how to handle.
He is feeling a variety of things and he isn’t really up to sorting them all out. But the most prominent one is relief. Relief that Jensen is there with him, that Jensen doesn’t seem to be mad anymore. Relief about the fact that he feels lighter somehow.
He broke down.
Broke down like he hasn’t in years and he doesn’t even know why exactly, he only knows that he can’t and doesn’t want to be without Jensen anymore.
He still is sort of on the edge but the weight that has been suffocating him during the last days. That had rested on his shoulders, on his heart, is gone, or at least not as present anymore.
When the soup is gone, the bowl placed on the coffee table and Jared wrapped up in two more blankets they just sit there. They are huddled together on the couch Jared soaking up the warmth emanating from Jensen, is revelling in Jensen’s presences like he has never before. They don’t talk but Jared knows there is no need for it right now. They will talk later.
Now is all about being close, realising things, finally admitting what’s been between them for a while now. It’s not like something hits Jared, it’s not even creeping up on him slowly and it’s not the big reveal he though those kind of things command. It’s suddenly just there. In his mind and Jared isn’t even scared or surprised by it. He just thinks back on the last few days, on the fight he and Jensen had, on how devastated he had been feeling since Jensen just up and went.
And Jared just knows.
He loves Jensen. He is in love with Jensen. And Jensen is there, Jensen is back with him. Jared also knows that he will use this chance.
Years later he will wonder why he hadn’t seen it before.
****
This will not be going away….
Jensen wakes up with Jared wrapped around him and a massive muscle cramp in his neck. He doesn’t dare to move though because Jared is finally sleeping without trashing around and waking up every five seconds to make sure Jensen is still there. Even the dogs seems to get it, they are lying in front of the backdoor but don’t utter a single noise. Jensen sort of feels bad for them then. But right now Jared is more important.
Jensen doesn’t really know what has been happening between them lately. What he knows though is that he doesn’t like them fighting, doesn’t like them being apart and not talking at all.
He missed Jared. He missed the life they have had.
He missed feeling home.
Right then, there on the couch with Jared curled up against him, his muscles cramping and his heart beating sort of fast Jensen doesn’t even remember why he actually talked about moving out. He doesn’t remember how everything went so wrong so fast. He is just glad that nothing worse happened, to either Jared or them as friends and maybe to them whatever they will be after this.
Jensen manages to wiggle out from under Jared. He does so carefully and with one hand connected to Jared. Jared sighs deeply and curls in even more once the space Jensen has been is empty but he doesn’t wake. Jensen doesn’t want to leave Jared alone but he needs a bathroom and that fast. Then he needs coffee to kick-start his brain so that he’ll at least be somewhat able to deal with whatever may happen once Jared is awake as well.
***
There is some snow covering the part of the yard Jensen can see from the kitchen window. He has let the dogs out when he came back into the living room and he can see them from time to time. This feels more like home then any other place ever has. Jensen suddenly regrets ever letting this situation get so out of hand. He regrets with such a sudden force that it almost squeezes his chest too tight and he has to gasps to take a breath. There is so much Jensen knows he can never take back but hopes to have a chance to make up for.
Jared is still gone to the world and curled up on the couch, for which Jensen is rather grateful. He needs some time for himself to actually come up with what to say to Jared. He needs time to sort his thoughts, to actually have arguments ready. He needs a plan because otherwise he knows they’ll do something they will regret again.
He slowly sips the coffee, too much sugar because he made it for Jared and didn’t even realise it, and watches the day start in the outside world. There are cupcakes on the counter as well. It looks all very domestic.
Jensen wonders how he will tell Jared what’s going on between them, wonders how Jared will take it, how it will effect their friendship. They can’t not talk about it. Denial obviously doesn’t work anymore. At least not when Jensen takes the last days into consideration. It worked fine for a couple of months, maybe even a year. He actually feels sort of ashamed at himself for managing to suppress it all for that long.
He wonders if Jared feels the same. But then he thinks back on how he found Jared on the couch and he doesn’t have to wonder anymore. Jensen shivers at thought of what might have happened if he hadn’t gotten over himself and checked on Jared.
The next sip of coffee surprises him because it is cold and tastes really bitter despite the tons of sugar in it. His foot is asleep and he tries not to groan at the pain. Figures that he’d get lost in his own head here. It only ever happens when he feels safe.
“I think I am in love with you.”
Jensen jumps. Actually really jumps and hisses at the pain when his foot reconnects with the tiles. The cup he is holding crashes to the counter top, coffee splashed over the rim and soaks the happily coloured napkin and the cupcake resting on it. His heart is in his throat and when he looks at Jared the other man actually looks apologetic.
Jensen though just stares.
Stares for too long as it seems, because Jared actually sighs and lowers his head.
“Yeah.. right.” Jared sounds so dejected that Jensen can’t do anything but reach out and drag him close. He hadn’t even realised how close Jared had been standing. It feels good. It feels very good to have Jared back in his arms.
“Jesus Jared. Give me a second to get into my head. Okay?” Jensen mumbles it against Jared’s neck because they are now caught in an embrace that Jensen doesn’t want to break. Jared is clinging to him.
“Okay. You.. you aren’t leaving again? Not even now?”
“No Jared. I am not leaving again. I actually think I’d rather stay with you for quite some time longer. Maybe a lot longer. Because I think I am, too.”
“You are?”
“Yeah.”
Jensen knows it doesn’t really solve anything, knows that it isn’t exactly what they need to be talking about but the smile on Jared’s face when he draws back to look at Jensen is worth it all. This smile is worth any thoughts Jensen might have in the future about if this is really the right thing. This smile will be worth any thoughts about this being too fast.
Jensen didn’t know how much he missed to see it and how long he had gotten without it. He doesn’t want that to happen again. Not when he can help it.
They’ll talk later. Jensen is pretty sure about that. This moment now is to reconnect, to close the rift and to actually make Jared smile.
“I need coffee.”
Jensen can only agree.
***
Title: Somewhere there is a place where you can go .... The power you restrain
Authorthe_milky_way
Character(s)/Pairing: Jared Padalecki (Jared/Jensen)
Theme: 09 "Perspectives: Lives lived, chances taken"
Prompt(s): 14.Stars, 18. Picture: basketball
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: This is not true. It never happened and I don't own anything.
Summary: These are just two days Jared and Jensen spend together. This is their time.
Somewhere there is a place where you can go
It is what it is – a hot summer night in Texas. It’s nothing special in the way that he has spent these kinds of nights almost ever summer in his life. It’s as warm as it always is. It’s a humid as it always is. The porch is the same as it has been in the last decade or so and even the flower pots his mom loves so much are the same he has always seen from this spot on the porch.
It’s a bright night even. The stars are out and he can actually see constellations despite the city lights and electric smog. This night actually marks the middle of his stay with his family. The summer will be a short one, as usual. When it is over it will have been more work than anything else.
Jared doesn’t complain. He just enjoys his days with his family, enjoys being almost coddled like a child by his mother, enjoys the talks he can have with his dad and actually enjoys the phone calls from his brother and sister who never really mean the mocking they bestow upon him.
Jared just enjoys being home. Or rather being in the one home he has known the longest.
He is sweaty and doesn’t really care. There is no one that would mind and they are in Texas after all. His mom is checking the porch every half an hour or so, just to make sure everything is okay she says. Jared always rolls his eyes at her but smiles anyway. It’s sweet in a way. And this way he doesn’t have to move from his rather comfortable position on the porch swing when he needs something. His mom will bring it out.
These are the two weeks in summer when he can be just Jared without having to put up a face or a mask. He loves it. These are the only times safe fro the Christmas break when he doesn’t have to act. There is no need to; everyone around him during this time knows who he really is.
No pretence needed. Jared loves it. Loves his own carefree state of mind then.
One of the stars he can see blinks and Jared wonders if it even is a star. He tilts his head a little to see more of the night sky and laughs when the hand in his hair slips to rest on his chest. Jensen snorts but doesn’t wake. He has been asleep for hours now, exhausted from his drive down from Dallas, from his own week with his family.
The next week will be theirs. Their week in Texas, with family and friends, and with a sky full of stars.
***
The power you restrain
Sweat is dripping down, running along his beck. He feels hot, mostly because of the game, partly because of the other body so close to his. They slip and slide together. The ball between them and then not.
Bare chests collide, hips bump together and arms entangle. He is breathless from it all and amazed that he still hits the ring. It has been intense from the start and neither of them has let up. There is so much energy, so much tension between them that it will take more than a game going for hours to really exhaust them.
He is looking forward to that kind of desert. This game is just a special way of foreplay. They rarely do it, rarely have time to indulge and take each moment they have together. They are not really playing by the rules but no one cares.
They get to touch, to grab, to tease. They tackle each other if the can and role over the floor, just because they can and because the need to touch and be close is overwhelming.
Playing basketball all day in the middle of a Texan summer is probably not the most intelligent thing to do. But they are home in Texas, they have been spending time with families and only with themselves and this is one way to let go of the tension that has been growing. Will grow until the day they have to go. They don’t have to hold during the game, don’t have to restrain themselves, which they usually only do when that don’t know them well are around. Their families are used to them like this.
The longer they play the heavier the teasing gets. They slide, slip, crash into each other. They touch and let fingers linger for fractures of seconds. They block, jump, catch the ball, and trip the other. They shoot and score and laugh. They smile, grin and even wink at each other. They just keep getting closer and closer.
Until they are crashed out on the drive way asphalt, just under the ring and right in front of the garage door. Sweat slick bodies pressed close, noses touching, and eyes almost crossed. They breath in unison, touch in almost every place. They lie skin to skin, heaving muscles pushing against each other.
They are hidden from few by the car at the end of the driveway and by the low bushes alongside it. They can be seen from the house though but no one would care anyway.
They laugh together when their foreheads slightly bump together and he feels his chest swell even more. These moments are what he is looking forward to. These slow and intense moments between them that underline that everything is real, that this is not a dream.
When their lips finally meet he can’t help but smile into the kiss. He is so perfectly happy that he sometimes fears it will just end. But then these slow little moments continue to happen and he is sure again that it will last. Maybe even a lifetime. They grind against each other. Hard and almost too much. He groans against aginst half parted lips and wishes they were already inside. In his bed and out of their remaining clothes.
They only break apart, breathing even heavier and smiling like goofs, when his momma calls them inside for dinner. It’s like they are teenagers again and not grown up men with careers. But that always happens when they are home and have nothing else to do but live.
“Jared. Jensen. Come on.”
He grins down at Jensen, grinds against him one last time, takes one last lick at Jensen’s kiss-swollen lips, his sweaty neck and then heavies himself up tugging Jensen with him. Jensen just grumbles, adds some mumbled "Fuck"s but keeps on grinning back at him. There is a promise written all over his face. He can't wait for it.
Laughing they tumble into the house and Jensen’s hand against his lower back is one of the best feelings in the world.
***
Title: Times gone and forgotten
Authorthe_milky_way
Character(s)/Pairing: Jared Padalecki
Theme: 09 "Perspectives: Lives lived, chances taken"
Prompt(s): 15. Writer’s Choice: song, 17. Spring
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: This is not true. It never happened and I don't own anything.
Summary: Jared haa to deal with being alone again after Sandy.
The song used is Robbie Williams' "You know me".
Since you went away my heart breaks every day
And you don’t know ‘cause you’re not there
You simply found the words to make all modern feeling fade away
Only you know me
She has been gone for hours now. He can still hear the soft click of the door that closed behind her and the last of her belongings. This is so final that he doesn’t even know how to go on. There weren’t any other plans, only the ones that included her.
She has been his life and part of everything for years. She has been there, through it all and with him. And now this is all gone? He can’t really believe it because he doesn’t know where things went wrong. He doesn’t know where to begin to analyze things or how to even come to terms that it is over.
Every plan for their future isn’t existent anymore. And he really has a hard time thinking about that, thinking about a future without her in his life. Of course, she told him she’d always be in his life but not like before. He can’t grasp that concept right now.
The thing that scares him the most though is to tell people about it. It scares him like nothing else because he’ll have to admit that he failed, that he wasn’t good enough and that he made grave mistakes. He has never been good with dealing with those kinds of things. He dreads the pity and the 'sorrys' and the concerned looks he’ll get once it is out in the open.
Most of all though, he fears the questions from his family. Them and Jensen. Those are the only ones Jared actually cares about telling.
It takes him an hour sitting in silence, only with the dogs curled around him, to reach for the telephone.
The second his momma says hello there is a lump in his throat. After the third time she says his name he can’t hold the sob back anymore and wishes he was home in Texas. He feels so small and like a child that he is embarrassed about it. It’s so not like him to break down like this. But then Sandy just walked out of his life and he doesn’t know how to deal with that.
He needs his momma.
“Oh Jared. Honey, it will get better.”
Just hearing her voice helps already.
He knows he’ll be home soon. And once he is, he can actually start with trying to find out what went wrong and what he did to make it all fall apart. His momma will be there to help.
***
Times gone and forgotten
Spring used to be his favourite time of the year. He used to love the fresh smell of the air that still had reminders of snow in it. He used to love the sun getting warmer on his skin. He used to love watching the life come back or as much as he could do that while working 15 to 18 hours a day.
Now, well now spring only just stands for the huge failure that is his life. That’s at least what he tells himself. Because at the end of spring his plans for a happy future walked out through the door of his house after she had told him that they were not working out.
Spring doesn’t hold the same magic as it used to. He still sees the flowers coming back, still remembers that in Texas it was always different and that was why he loved spring in Vancouver. He still sees the life coming back, the birds begin to settle, the sun getting warmer and people just generally getting lighter. He still all sees that, can occasionally even smile about it. But it’s not the grand miracle anymore.
He just can’t bring himself to enjoy. It’s not the same anymore.
Author
the_milky_wayCharacter(s)/Pairing: Jared Padalecki (Jared/Jensen)
Theme: 09 "Perspectives: Lives lived, chances taken"
Prompt(s): 12.Years, 13. Picture: coffee cup
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: This is not true. It never happened and I don't own anything.
Summary: This is how they solve it, how they get it right
This is the continuation piece to Maybe you and I got a lot to learn
It’s the way we are again
Years later Jared will look back on it and wonder why it took them so long, why it had to be such a huge thing and why they hurt each other so much along the way. Jared will think how the only reason for it have gone down like this was them being too insecure, too proud and maybe a little too hurt to get it solved any other way.
During the moment things get sorted though, Jared is anything but willing to reflect on things. He just wants to know what’s going to happen now, what’s going to happen between him and Jensen. He is still stuck on the fact that Jensen is actually there, close and not just a figment of his imagination. He still has a hard time making his mind believe, making his mind realise that this is his chance. He has been given another chance and he will take it.
The bowl with the soup is warm against his hands. His clutching to it, soaking up the warmth his body craves so much. Jensen is right next to him, is holding him close and Jared wonders if this is the beginning of something they both don’t really know how to handle.
He is feeling a variety of things and he isn’t really up to sorting them all out. But the most prominent one is relief. Relief that Jensen is there with him, that Jensen doesn’t seem to be mad anymore. Relief about the fact that he feels lighter somehow.
He broke down.
Broke down like he hasn’t in years and he doesn’t even know why exactly, he only knows that he can’t and doesn’t want to be without Jensen anymore.
He still is sort of on the edge but the weight that has been suffocating him during the last days. That had rested on his shoulders, on his heart, is gone, or at least not as present anymore.
When the soup is gone, the bowl placed on the coffee table and Jared wrapped up in two more blankets they just sit there. They are huddled together on the couch Jared soaking up the warmth emanating from Jensen, is revelling in Jensen’s presences like he has never before. They don’t talk but Jared knows there is no need for it right now. They will talk later.
Now is all about being close, realising things, finally admitting what’s been between them for a while now. It’s not like something hits Jared, it’s not even creeping up on him slowly and it’s not the big reveal he though those kind of things command. It’s suddenly just there. In his mind and Jared isn’t even scared or surprised by it. He just thinks back on the last few days, on the fight he and Jensen had, on how devastated he had been feeling since Jensen just up and went.
And Jared just knows.
He loves Jensen. He is in love with Jensen. And Jensen is there, Jensen is back with him. Jared also knows that he will use this chance.
Years later he will wonder why he hadn’t seen it before.
****
This will not be going away….
Jensen wakes up with Jared wrapped around him and a massive muscle cramp in his neck. He doesn’t dare to move though because Jared is finally sleeping without trashing around and waking up every five seconds to make sure Jensen is still there. Even the dogs seems to get it, they are lying in front of the backdoor but don’t utter a single noise. Jensen sort of feels bad for them then. But right now Jared is more important.
Jensen doesn’t really know what has been happening between them lately. What he knows though is that he doesn’t like them fighting, doesn’t like them being apart and not talking at all.
He missed Jared. He missed the life they have had.
He missed feeling home.
Right then, there on the couch with Jared curled up against him, his muscles cramping and his heart beating sort of fast Jensen doesn’t even remember why he actually talked about moving out. He doesn’t remember how everything went so wrong so fast. He is just glad that nothing worse happened, to either Jared or them as friends and maybe to them whatever they will be after this.
Jensen manages to wiggle out from under Jared. He does so carefully and with one hand connected to Jared. Jared sighs deeply and curls in even more once the space Jensen has been is empty but he doesn’t wake. Jensen doesn’t want to leave Jared alone but he needs a bathroom and that fast. Then he needs coffee to kick-start his brain so that he’ll at least be somewhat able to deal with whatever may happen once Jared is awake as well.
***
There is some snow covering the part of the yard Jensen can see from the kitchen window. He has let the dogs out when he came back into the living room and he can see them from time to time. This feels more like home then any other place ever has. Jensen suddenly regrets ever letting this situation get so out of hand. He regrets with such a sudden force that it almost squeezes his chest too tight and he has to gasps to take a breath. There is so much Jensen knows he can never take back but hopes to have a chance to make up for.
Jared is still gone to the world and curled up on the couch, for which Jensen is rather grateful. He needs some time for himself to actually come up with what to say to Jared. He needs time to sort his thoughts, to actually have arguments ready. He needs a plan because otherwise he knows they’ll do something they will regret again.
He slowly sips the coffee, too much sugar because he made it for Jared and didn’t even realise it, and watches the day start in the outside world. There are cupcakes on the counter as well. It looks all very domestic.
Jensen wonders how he will tell Jared what’s going on between them, wonders how Jared will take it, how it will effect their friendship. They can’t not talk about it. Denial obviously doesn’t work anymore. At least not when Jensen takes the last days into consideration. It worked fine for a couple of months, maybe even a year. He actually feels sort of ashamed at himself for managing to suppress it all for that long.
He wonders if Jared feels the same. But then he thinks back on how he found Jared on the couch and he doesn’t have to wonder anymore. Jensen shivers at thought of what might have happened if he hadn’t gotten over himself and checked on Jared.
The next sip of coffee surprises him because it is cold and tastes really bitter despite the tons of sugar in it. His foot is asleep and he tries not to groan at the pain. Figures that he’d get lost in his own head here. It only ever happens when he feels safe.
“I think I am in love with you.”
Jensen jumps. Actually really jumps and hisses at the pain when his foot reconnects with the tiles. The cup he is holding crashes to the counter top, coffee splashed over the rim and soaks the happily coloured napkin and the cupcake resting on it. His heart is in his throat and when he looks at Jared the other man actually looks apologetic.
Jensen though just stares.
Stares for too long as it seems, because Jared actually sighs and lowers his head.
“Yeah.. right.” Jared sounds so dejected that Jensen can’t do anything but reach out and drag him close. He hadn’t even realised how close Jared had been standing. It feels good. It feels very good to have Jared back in his arms.
“Jesus Jared. Give me a second to get into my head. Okay?” Jensen mumbles it against Jared’s neck because they are now caught in an embrace that Jensen doesn’t want to break. Jared is clinging to him.
“Okay. You.. you aren’t leaving again? Not even now?”
“No Jared. I am not leaving again. I actually think I’d rather stay with you for quite some time longer. Maybe a lot longer. Because I think I am, too.”
“You are?”
“Yeah.”
Jensen knows it doesn’t really solve anything, knows that it isn’t exactly what they need to be talking about but the smile on Jared’s face when he draws back to look at Jensen is worth it all. This smile is worth any thoughts Jensen might have in the future about if this is really the right thing. This smile will be worth any thoughts about this being too fast.
Jensen didn’t know how much he missed to see it and how long he had gotten without it. He doesn’t want that to happen again. Not when he can help it.
They’ll talk later. Jensen is pretty sure about that. This moment now is to reconnect, to close the rift and to actually make Jared smile.
“I need coffee.”
Jensen can only agree.
***
Title: Somewhere there is a place where you can go .... The power you restrain
Author
the_milky_wayCharacter(s)/Pairing: Jared Padalecki (Jared/Jensen)
Theme: 09 "Perspectives: Lives lived, chances taken"
Prompt(s): 14.Stars, 18. Picture: basketball
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: This is not true. It never happened and I don't own anything.
Summary: These are just two days Jared and Jensen spend together. This is their time.
Somewhere there is a place where you can go
It is what it is – a hot summer night in Texas. It’s nothing special in the way that he has spent these kinds of nights almost ever summer in his life. It’s as warm as it always is. It’s a humid as it always is. The porch is the same as it has been in the last decade or so and even the flower pots his mom loves so much are the same he has always seen from this spot on the porch.
It’s a bright night even. The stars are out and he can actually see constellations despite the city lights and electric smog. This night actually marks the middle of his stay with his family. The summer will be a short one, as usual. When it is over it will have been more work than anything else.
Jared doesn’t complain. He just enjoys his days with his family, enjoys being almost coddled like a child by his mother, enjoys the talks he can have with his dad and actually enjoys the phone calls from his brother and sister who never really mean the mocking they bestow upon him.
Jared just enjoys being home. Or rather being in the one home he has known the longest.
He is sweaty and doesn’t really care. There is no one that would mind and they are in Texas after all. His mom is checking the porch every half an hour or so, just to make sure everything is okay she says. Jared always rolls his eyes at her but smiles anyway. It’s sweet in a way. And this way he doesn’t have to move from his rather comfortable position on the porch swing when he needs something. His mom will bring it out.
These are the two weeks in summer when he can be just Jared without having to put up a face or a mask. He loves it. These are the only times safe fro the Christmas break when he doesn’t have to act. There is no need to; everyone around him during this time knows who he really is.
No pretence needed. Jared loves it. Loves his own carefree state of mind then.
One of the stars he can see blinks and Jared wonders if it even is a star. He tilts his head a little to see more of the night sky and laughs when the hand in his hair slips to rest on his chest. Jensen snorts but doesn’t wake. He has been asleep for hours now, exhausted from his drive down from Dallas, from his own week with his family.
The next week will be theirs. Their week in Texas, with family and friends, and with a sky full of stars.
***
The power you restrain
Sweat is dripping down, running along his beck. He feels hot, mostly because of the game, partly because of the other body so close to his. They slip and slide together. The ball between them and then not.
Bare chests collide, hips bump together and arms entangle. He is breathless from it all and amazed that he still hits the ring. It has been intense from the start and neither of them has let up. There is so much energy, so much tension between them that it will take more than a game going for hours to really exhaust them.
He is looking forward to that kind of desert. This game is just a special way of foreplay. They rarely do it, rarely have time to indulge and take each moment they have together. They are not really playing by the rules but no one cares.
They get to touch, to grab, to tease. They tackle each other if the can and role over the floor, just because they can and because the need to touch and be close is overwhelming.
Playing basketball all day in the middle of a Texan summer is probably not the most intelligent thing to do. But they are home in Texas, they have been spending time with families and only with themselves and this is one way to let go of the tension that has been growing. Will grow until the day they have to go. They don’t have to hold during the game, don’t have to restrain themselves, which they usually only do when that don’t know them well are around. Their families are used to them like this.
The longer they play the heavier the teasing gets. They slide, slip, crash into each other. They touch and let fingers linger for fractures of seconds. They block, jump, catch the ball, and trip the other. They shoot and score and laugh. They smile, grin and even wink at each other. They just keep getting closer and closer.
Until they are crashed out on the drive way asphalt, just under the ring and right in front of the garage door. Sweat slick bodies pressed close, noses touching, and eyes almost crossed. They breath in unison, touch in almost every place. They lie skin to skin, heaving muscles pushing against each other.
They are hidden from few by the car at the end of the driveway and by the low bushes alongside it. They can be seen from the house though but no one would care anyway.
They laugh together when their foreheads slightly bump together and he feels his chest swell even more. These moments are what he is looking forward to. These slow and intense moments between them that underline that everything is real, that this is not a dream.
When their lips finally meet he can’t help but smile into the kiss. He is so perfectly happy that he sometimes fears it will just end. But then these slow little moments continue to happen and he is sure again that it will last. Maybe even a lifetime. They grind against each other. Hard and almost too much. He groans against aginst half parted lips and wishes they were already inside. In his bed and out of their remaining clothes.
They only break apart, breathing even heavier and smiling like goofs, when his momma calls them inside for dinner. It’s like they are teenagers again and not grown up men with careers. But that always happens when they are home and have nothing else to do but live.
“Jared. Jensen. Come on.”
He grins down at Jensen, grinds against him one last time, takes one last lick at Jensen’s kiss-swollen lips, his sweaty neck and then heavies himself up tugging Jensen with him. Jensen just grumbles, adds some mumbled "Fuck"s but keeps on grinning back at him. There is a promise written all over his face. He can't wait for it.
Laughing they tumble into the house and Jensen’s hand against his lower back is one of the best feelings in the world.
***
Title: Times gone and forgotten
Author
the_milky_wayCharacter(s)/Pairing: Jared Padalecki
Theme: 09 "Perspectives: Lives lived, chances taken"
Prompt(s): 15. Writer’s Choice: song, 17. Spring
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: This is not true. It never happened and I don't own anything.
Summary: Jared haa to deal with being alone again after Sandy.
The song used is Robbie Williams' "You know me".
Since you went away my heart breaks every day
And you don’t know ‘cause you’re not there
You simply found the words to make all modern feeling fade away
Only you know me
She has been gone for hours now. He can still hear the soft click of the door that closed behind her and the last of her belongings. This is so final that he doesn’t even know how to go on. There weren’t any other plans, only the ones that included her.
She has been his life and part of everything for years. She has been there, through it all and with him. And now this is all gone? He can’t really believe it because he doesn’t know where things went wrong. He doesn’t know where to begin to analyze things or how to even come to terms that it is over.
Every plan for their future isn’t existent anymore. And he really has a hard time thinking about that, thinking about a future without her in his life. Of course, she told him she’d always be in his life but not like before. He can’t grasp that concept right now.
The thing that scares him the most though is to tell people about it. It scares him like nothing else because he’ll have to admit that he failed, that he wasn’t good enough and that he made grave mistakes. He has never been good with dealing with those kinds of things. He dreads the pity and the 'sorrys' and the concerned looks he’ll get once it is out in the open.
Most of all though, he fears the questions from his family. Them and Jensen. Those are the only ones Jared actually cares about telling.
It takes him an hour sitting in silence, only with the dogs curled around him, to reach for the telephone.
The second his momma says hello there is a lump in his throat. After the third time she says his name he can’t hold the sob back anymore and wishes he was home in Texas. He feels so small and like a child that he is embarrassed about it. It’s so not like him to break down like this. But then Sandy just walked out of his life and he doesn’t know how to deal with that.
He needs his momma.
“Oh Jared. Honey, it will get better.”
Just hearing her voice helps already.
He knows he’ll be home soon. And once he is, he can actually start with trying to find out what went wrong and what he did to make it all fall apart. His momma will be there to help.
***
Times gone and forgotten
Spring used to be his favourite time of the year. He used to love the fresh smell of the air that still had reminders of snow in it. He used to love the sun getting warmer on his skin. He used to love watching the life come back or as much as he could do that while working 15 to 18 hours a day.
Now, well now spring only just stands for the huge failure that is his life. That’s at least what he tells himself. Because at the end of spring his plans for a happy future walked out through the door of his house after she had told him that they were not working out.
Spring doesn’t hold the same magic as it used to. He still sees the flowers coming back, still remembers that in Texas it was always different and that was why he loved spring in Vancouver. He still sees the life coming back, the birds begin to settle, the sun getting warmer and people just generally getting lighter. He still all sees that, can occasionally even smile about it. But it’s not the grand miracle anymore.
He just can’t bring himself to enjoy. It’s not the same anymore.
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no subject
Date: 2009-11-23 11:14 am (UTC)From:And coincidentally, I was listening to Robbie's new album while reading these :D
no subject
Date: 2009-11-23 01:03 pm (UTC)From:Yeah, I was int he mood for some angst as it seems.
I do love when Jensen is the one taking care of Jared. It's one of my preferred scenarios. :)
Hehe, that fits since I listened to it while writing them.