Fic: "What about now (What if you’re making me all that I was meant to be)" EPILOGUE + NOTES

[icebear_cw]

9.


Now that we’re here,
Now that we’ve come this far,
Just hold on


He can feel the ice moving under him, can feel every vibration, every scratch from the skates of his teammates. He feels himself slide with intent, with the knowledge that this it. This is their chance. His chance. And he’ll do everything to use it correctly. Though not for himself. Not that he doesn’t want it, because of course, he does.

He loves the game and the way it makes him feel. But it’s not all for him, not like it is for so many of his teammates. But he gets it. He has something in his life that feels the same, two things if he’s honest about it. It’s just not hockey. But right now, it's only the game that counts.

His body thrums with the energy in the air, moves the way it knows how to, fluidly and without strain. This is fun, this is life. And he got this back because he wanted it. He got this back because he had someone at his side, going through it with him. It makes him feel free and weightless all of a sudden and he barks a laugh under his helmet.

It’s such a surprising thing to realize that he almost misses when the next goal happens. It’s such a rare thing for him to feel like this on the ice that he instantly seeks out the one who made this possible.

He’s so focused, so zoned out, that he moves like it’s all just automatic sequences ingrained into his body’s memory. He almost misses that he’s the one sliding into the net after the puck. He almost misses that his teammates scream and yell and pound on his back. Because all he sees are green eyes behind a mask, smiling. All he sees is peace and peace of mind.





Jensen Ackles never believed in fairy tales or miracles. They just don’t happen and if they do, then definitely not to him. Of course, he has dreams and does everything in his power to achieve them. He works hard, studies his soul out and tries to be a pretty decent human being. But every time he hopes, wishes, and prays for something good, it never happens, so he doesn’t do it anymore.

Except right now, right in this moment he’s praying like crazy. Really, Jensen wouldn’t mind a miracle right about now and there’s still most of the last third to go. Jensen wants to close his eyes, wants to look away but he can’t. This is his team. He brought them to this point and he damn well wants to see them earning what they’ve been working for. He wants to yell, wants to rage about the stupid mistakes and wants to cheer for every well done pass or line change.

And so Jensen does yell. His heart is in his throat. He even has his thumbs curled inward, digging into the pad of his gloves. He prays, silently but mouth moving, and eyes furiously tracking every movement in front of him. Beads of sweat slide down his skin. His jersey sticks itself onto his skin, making him shiver with the cold that’s suddenly there. He’s nervous, excited and afraid at the same time. The cut on his upper lips is split open again because he can’t keep his teeth from clamping down on the flesh.

This is what he'd been missing, the feeling that he's part of the ice, of the game, of the team. This is what he's been looking for and he loves that he's found it again at the right moment. This game is important, this game is so important that he's into with all he has, his heart, his soul, his mind. It's not taking over his life completely anymore, right at this moment though, it feels like this again. It feels good. In this momentn - right here, right now - it feels awesome.

His instincts kick in, he moves restlessly, feels every surge his offense makes and every back track of his defense. He’s there, right in the middle and he’s praying for his team.

He keeps his net clean. For the third time this season.

There is yelling, cheering, shouts of triumph. All he can see, though, are floppy, sweaty hair and amused green-blue eyes smiling back at him.

And then it’s all over and he gets bowled over by his team.






There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.



Continued in this Timestamp: "Use every word you've ever heard - To color my world"





***


Acknowledgements and Soundtracks

Parkour Rocks


Click for large version

01. Pronobozo - Parkour
02. Crystal_Method - Parkour
03. Le_Parkour - Rules
04. Motorisk Afasi & Filthy - Le Parkour
05. Uzzy - Le_Parkour


Parkour tracks (re-uploaded) .zip



***

What about now


Click for large version

01. Westlife - Shadows
02. Peter Maffay - Nessaja
03. Thirty Seconds to Mars - Closer to the Edge
04. Ashley Tisdale - How do you love someone
05. The Life of Riley - Coming Back for More
06. Robbie Williams - Bodies (Cahill Remix)
07. Colbie Caillat - Realize
08. Münchner Freiheit - Ohne Dich
09. Wolfsheim - Once in a Lifetime
10. Texas Lightning - No No Never
11. Take That - Up all Night
12. Russell Crowe - One Good Year
13. Westlife - What about Now


Story soundtrack (re-uploaded) .zip

***


Author's Notes:

Title and lyrics in the story are from Westlife's "What about now".

There are so many people I want thank, who have been along the ride that this has been. It's been on my mind to write a J2 hockey fic for quite some time now and somehow this year I got the right inspiration and the motivation to try it. I don't really know where it came from but I guess I watched too much hockey this winter. Also thanks to the show "The District" for giving me the perfect set up for the bar scene.
As for the setting, well I tried to keep close to the real thing but I took some liberties with the BC campus (like in the mural scene) and some things have changed since I saw it so I had to revert to other sources (fortunately there are many).

A very grateful Thanks to my awesome artist deannawesson. It's been awesome working with you and I find it amazing how quickly you knew what I meant and what you did with the pics and the soundtrack covers. Your art fits so well. Thank you so much.

A huge Thank you to my beta readers parka_girl and morgentau. Thank you so much guys, without you I would have been really, really screwed.
Thanks so much for keeping up with me and the ever growing story, for correcting my lack of commas and pointing out logical caps. I'm so grateful for your help and that you read through it all.
Thanks so much. Of course, all reamining mistakes are mine.
♥

Another huge Thank you goes to chani_atreides who kept prompting me with J2 and Parkour every time I asked for prompts. I'd already started on an idea but then signed up for Big Bang and decided to take this idea and run with it. So I blame the whole thing - or well the Pakour part anyway, on her. But then she provided me with links and videos so there is that.... ;) I knew about Parkour already, saw it around but never thought about trying to write it. Thank you so much for the idea and making me write it. :)
♥

There is so much more I want to say but in the end it comes down to the fact that my flist is awesome and I thank every single one of you who kept up with me and my whining about this story. I want to thank you all who kept encouraging me to go on and write this (via comments, chat or Twitter or email or even v-gifts [thanks so much for those Joan]). THANK YOU!!!!. You guys, know who you are. :)

And there is apparently so much to tell that there is a timestamp already.
Thanks, again, to parka_girl for going through it as well.

Thanks to thehighwaywoman and wendy for setting it all up again. :)


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