![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Fic title: "Wherein Jared tries not to be too miserable and to avoid being kidnapped by Mike"
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
the_milky_way
Genre: RPS, College!AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3.988
Warnings/Spoilers: none
Beta: Many thanks to A.
Disclaimer: This story is fictional (not real, didn't happen). Not true in any way. I don't own anything.
Summary: Life is really, really unfair.
Jared isn’t even exaggerating or something.
Notes: This was written for the March prompt at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
notjustroomates.
It was also written forenablelove, who has been going through some rough times and for matalinolukaret, who said she wouldn't mind more of this verse.
It's all their fault anyway. :=)
It is also the another part of the "Wherein Verse" but can be read as a standalone.
Wherein Jared tries to avoid losing his mind and being kidnapped by Mike
Life is really, really unfair.
Jared isn’t even exaggerating or something.
It’s just that there isn’t anything good going on in his life right now. Okay, he might be overdoing it just a tiny bit here but he feels like this. He feels like he is stuck in a caricature of his life and there isn’t anything he can do about it.
Okay, so there is something good in his life, maybe even more than just one thing, he just isn’t feeling it right now. Jensen isn’t even there, so Jared doesn’t count it anyway. But yeah, Jensen is the one really, really good thing in his life.
Still…
Life is unfair and doesn’t like Jared at all.
Because if it did, then he wouldn’t be stuck at his parent’s house in San Antonio with no chance to escape. His momma has been hovering for days now, not really know what to do with Jared or how to get him out of this funk. His dad keeps quiet, doesn’t push but looks worried all the same. Jared feels like a douche when he thinks about his parents.
He has been acting like one, too.
And all that because his timing sucks and Jensen’s isn’t any better either.
And the weather isn’t helping any.
***
When the opportunity to take on an internship at one of the best science labs in the state almost jumped at Jared he didn’t have any other chance but to say yes. The thing is that the lab is linked to the MIT and it’s his chance to make it, to get a foot in.
It had been a no-brainer really. No thinking, no discussing it, just saying yes. Jensen had been the first one to tell him to go, had been the first one to read the letter, sitting next to him when he opened it.
3 months away from campus, three months that make up half the credits he needs. Yeah, no way was he going to say no to this. He’d still have to take the exams at the end of the term but he knows he’ll be okay with those. There will still be some courses left he’ll has to take later, but right when they told him that yes he can go and do it Jared was in heaven.
He has no idea how it turned out to be one of the not so good decisions he’s made.
So there he is now, in San Antonio, not getting away for Spring Break, being stuck with work he can do in his sleep and studying a workload of three courses besides that. Yeah, he is a genius, he has not qualms admitting that, but even for him this is a lot.
He is living at home again, with his parents, away from his friends.
He has no time other than to sleep and eat and maybe shower sometimes. There is no going out, no shopping sprees with Megan, no quiet hour to read something that isn’t connected to engineering or science.
It’s almost like he is totally cut off from his own life, or rather, the life he used to have.
And most importantly, he is away from his boyfriend.
***
The internship sucks. Big time. It’s not what he had imagined.
It’s boring and he isn’t learning as much as he hoped he would. There are things he knows he can do better but is forced to do in a weird way because the boss wants it like that. There are things he isn’t allowed to do at all even though he already has completed every advanced course there is and knows what he is doing.
And no one is really listening to him. He is just a little intern, there to help, to hand things and to shut up. He knows it’s not a good start to tell your supervisor that things can be more effective, and he didn’t do it. He just said something to Jensen on the phone and his boss heard it.
Yeah, just one of his typical missteps. It’s just like him to built obstacles for himself and this time he’d really done himself in. His boss hasn’t really talked to him since then and Jared is kind of clueless about what he is supposed to do. Not only about the situation with his boss but in general as well.
No one seems to care what he does most of the time; only one of his three supervisors actually gives him tasks and makes sure that he actually gets what he is doing.
Jared desperately wants to go back to school, wants to be where he can life and be himself. He wants to be with his friends again, and actually be happy.
***
Jensen tries to cheer him up, tries to tell him that there is only a month left, and tries to call him every night if he can. It’s not enough. Not even close to ‘enough’ at all. It’s not the same as if Jensen was there, hugging him, kissing him, making him feel alive.
Jared misses Jensen terribly, can’t sleep well without the additional weight of Jensen’s arm across his chest or Jensen’s ice blocks of feet pressed against his calves. He hates having to get up without Jensen’s grumbled ‘morning’ or the hug and the kiss he always gets before he leaves the house.
He misses the small things, the little touches and kisses. Misses Jensen’s smile or smug smirk or the laughter he gets every time he can’t control his limps.
Jared even misses the sensation of blushing furiously whenever Jensen talks dirty or walks in on him in the bathroom. He misses feeling shy around his boyfriend, misses the feeling of his heart beating in his chest and feeling all warm and loved.
He misses Jensen.
***
They haven’t seen each other in weeks.
Four weeks and three days to be exact. It feels like a lifetime, like eternity. Megan laughed a good thirty minutes this morning when Jared actually complained into his breakfast cereal. Jared had snorted, and well snorted into his milk which had set Megan off again.
Jared’s momma didn’t find it all that amusing but when Jared whined about not having Jensen there for the nth time in days she had just sighed, tousled his hair and had gone to call Jeff. Jared doesn’t know what that was about but he knows it was about him. He feels a little bad for heaving that all on his parents.
He is miserable and he wants everyone around him to either pick him up or be miserable with him. He is selfish when it comes to missing Jensen. He’s just very glad that his family is so awesome.
***
Jared is on withdrawal. Jensen-withdrawal and it’s brutal.
He’d never thought he’d be that attached to another human being. He would have never thought that not being with Jensen would be this… painful.
Megan has called him all kinds of pathetic during the last few weeks. But he can’t help it. He feels like half of him is missing, not there and he can’t function right without this half. It’s clichéd as hell and he snorts every time he actually thinks about it but he so doesn’t care.
Jared wonders if throwing a fit like a five year old would help. Like him flailing, crying and stomping his feet, screaming that he wants his Jensen is actually something he might consider. He has sunken low, very low.
Jeff and Mike would love to see it though.
They already have enough blackmail material though. They don’t even pick up the phone anymore when he calls the house because they know he’ll whine at them until they hand it over to Jensen when he is home.
They do, however, try to record every conversation Jensen and he have. Jared isn’t very amused about that. Thankfully, the recording device Mike got from a very dubious friend of his, clicks very audibly when it is switched on. Jared has stopped counting the times he’s used his sister’s ‘danger’ whistle.
Talking to Jensen helps, though. A little at least.
Jensen is busy as hell, too. Can’t even afford to really take a break during Spring Break. He is working his ass of to finish Grad School earlier, to get the job he has been offered. They are actually waiting for him.
It sort of helps that this job is in Boston. It’s one of the few incentives he has to survive this internship and not abort it right then and there. He needs the credits, needs a good recommendation to send with his application to MIT. There is no way he’ll let Jensen slip off to Boston all on his own.
Jensen spends a lot of time in lab and at the hospital. He tells Jared about his awesome boss and how his internship is sort of really going along with everything in Grad school. Jared knows he should feel jealous, only he does.
He wants to have something like that, too. Wants to be less bored and more challenged. He wants to have people he gets along with and can work with. He basically wants what Jensen has, preferably somewhere close to Jensen. Jared, though, can’t bring himself to begrudge his boyfriend. It wouldn’t be like him and he actually feels good about being unable to not be happy for Jensen.
But…
Things feel like they are on a hold though. They talk, they even talk dirty. But it’s nothing compared to what they used to do when they were together. It feels like they are drifting apart, like they are sort of starting different lives already.
Jared tries not to think about it all too much though. He hears Jensen talk about his day, thinks how much he is missing and how he’d love to just take his care and drive up there. It’s been like this since New Years and Jared feels his heart ache a little at the thought that this might be their future.
Just long calls at the end of the day without really seeing each other anymore. Just telling about their lives, not being part of them.
Jared feels like crying every time he allows his mind to drift this way.
Jensen hasn’t given any indication that he feels like this as well, so Jared feels even more like an insecure idiot and never really tells Jensen about his fears. He feels young, inexperienced compared to Jensen, feels like he isn’t really all what Jensen might want from life, from a relationship. No matter what everyone says, Jared can’t help feeling this way.
Not being with Jensen for so long isn’t doing him any good.
It can’t be healthy to be that dependent on someone. His momma though, thinks it’s just natural, with the way they are together.
Jeff claims Jensen feels the same, mopes, is bitchy and grumbly, and never really goes out anymore. And Jared hates knowing how miserable Jensen is. He just doesn’t know what to do about it. He has no clue how to reassure Jensen when he himself can’t even talk about what’s going on in his head.
Jeff thinks Jared is just sex starved, thinks that not getting laid regularly is bringing the emo back. Sometimes Jared is inclined to agree, he hasn’t jerked off this much since he was 14. He is incredibly glad that his momma never really comes into his room anymore without knocking.
****
The rain has been there for days now. It’s not exactly cold but not all that spring-like either. And it’s most definitely not helping his mood. Not at all.
Jared groans at himself, bangs his head against the window and just lets it rest there for a while. It’s his only day off in weeks. Half day off actually, no time to get his car and drive to Jensen. Not that his momma would let him drive. She thinks he is too tired to even walk to the store a few blocks away.
Maybe she is right. Jared sighs, watches the rain drops slide down the glass, seeing nothing but the water and the grey of the sky. It fits his state of mind.
“Hey loser.”
Jared jumps, bangs his elbow on the window sill and curses out loud. He is glad his parents aren’t home. He flails a little, actually stumbles and only rights himself when the flash goes off. Of course…
“Mike! God dammit!” Jared scowls, doesn’t really know what to do now or how to react. Mike has never been here, never been in the house or the room. Jared is sort of clueless about what to feel about it all.
He certainly is confused.
“What… Mike? What are you doing here? How… I mean.. I…. What?”
Mike’s already cackling, close to laughing his ass of already. It’s not an unusual sight but Jared wants to clock him because he needs answers and that now.
“Mike!”
“Sorry. Sorry. But Jeff said you’d start rambling. So yeah.. Jeff said you could use some pick me up. So here, I am. Free as a bird for a week and I’ll kidnap you now.” Mike is smirking, devilish and not at all apologetic for crashing in on Jared.
“Kidnap me? What? No.. you can’t. I have... man, I have to stay here. Have work to do.”
“You are sick.” Mike says with such a conviction that Jared can’t respond for a second there.
“Sick?”
“Yep.”
“What?”
“Man, for a genius you are really sort of dense.” Mike says. “You. Are. Sick. With a note from a doctor and all. So you can actually come with me now.”
“Uh… But..” Jared looks around, uncertain, looking for a hidden camera or you know, help. He almost aspects Jeff top show up as well and explain. But nothing happens, only Mike dragging him away from the window sill and out of the room.
“Mike.. what… Where did I get that note from?”
“Jenny boy.”
“But he’s not a doctor… yet. How?”
“God, man, can you can it with the questions? I feel like I am dragging my little nephew around. In your case it would be niece of course.” Mike doesn’t let go but isn’t answering any more questions either.
Jared only has one chance to get his shoes, hops around behind Mike without falling on his face, grabs his keys and his jacket. The second he steps outside he shivers. The rain hits him right in the face and he tries to duck away from it.
Mike’s not having any of it though, he keeps on dragging.
Jared stumbles, curses again and gets soaked.
Yeah, life is really, really unfair and doesn’t like Jared at all. This is certainly not what Jared had pictured his day to go. He’d planned to spend the day inside, working on his course load and maybe trying to sleep for some hours.
Being kidnapped by Mike is something isn’t all that keen on but he isn’t really fighting it either. If he is honest he doesn’t mind it as much as he should. He really needs to get out of the house. He wishes that it wouldn’t be Mike doing the dragging though.
The spike of disappointment that it isn’t Jensen hurts a little but Jared swallows it all done and lets himself being dragged towards Mike’s sorry excuse for a car. Jared barely fits into front seat, wonders how Mike manages it, the man isn’t a midget after all.
“Okay, turn towards me. Come on, Jay-bear, stop moping. All’s going well.” Mike smirks again and Jared actually considers fearing for his life, but he turns towards Mike anyway.
“And now what? Gonna make me sing a song or something? You know I hate your karaoke tapes in the car.”
“Shut it. They are brilliant and awesome.” Mike flails a little, moves and almost brains Jared with his elbow. Jared just sighs, because yeah, this is Mike after all. But when Mike comes up with a scarf and goes for Jared’s eyes he jerks back and smacks against the window.
“Ow. Mike? What…” Jared flaps his hand when Mike moves in again, actually connects with the hand closest to him but it doesn’t seem to help much anyway. Mike is relentless.
“Let me, Jay. It’s not a proper kidnapping without a blindfold.”
“Kinky.”
“Dude. No. Just… no. Ewwww. And Jenny-bean will kill me. Your ass is his anyway. I am not taking cast offs.” Mike sounds way too smug, looks it, too. Jared, again, feels the urge to hit him. He never knows when to take Mike serious and when not. Even after years of living with the guy Jared finds him as unpredictable as he did on the first day.
Mike raises an eyebrow, clearly a dare and Jared knows he won’t be able to resist that. He doesn’t know what it is about Mike that makes people do things, stupid things mostly. Jared always finds himself sort of unable to defend himself against whatever power Mike has. O he nods and only feels slightly freaked out when it goes dark around him.
“Don’t peek.. or I’ll kill you.”
Jared actually believes him. It’s Mike after all.
***
Jared fidgets feels uncomfortable and sort out of it.
He doesn’t know how long they actually drove, but it’s been quite a while. They are parked now, not moving and Mikes has left him in the car. Alone and blindfolded. Yeah, Jared doesn’t feel stupid at all.
Why does he always get himself into one of Mike’s schemes? He doesn’t know.
He is still soaked, his jeans cling to his cold skin and he shivers a little. He pats his pockets, looks for his cell and groans out loud when he realizes that he left it in his room. In the rush to know knock himself out while Mike dragged him through the house Jared had totally forgotten about his cell phone.
Great, now he can’t even call Jensen – or anybody else for the matter – for help. And Jensen can’t reach him either.
Jared feels a little sick. Just a little though, because he’s certainly fulfilled his quota of being pathetic already and it will probably last for a lifetime.
The knock at the window makes him jump. Hard and high. He almost conks himself out when his head hits the roof of the car and his temple smacks into the handle above the side window. Yeah, when it comes to harming himself Jared can definitely be graceful.
Very graceful.
The door is yanked open then and warm hands are on his face. The blindfold is taken away and Jared blinks blearily into the grey sky. It’s still a little too much light for his eyes.
“God. I am so sorry. I didn’t see the blindfold… What the fuck Mike?... Jay? Jared. You okay? Look at me, come on.. Open your eyes.”
Jensen. It’s Jensen and his hands are all over Jared. Jensen sounds frantic there and the only thing Jared can do is sigh and sag forward, right into Jensen’s arms.
“Jensen? Jen… Hey… I am good. Just.. ow.”
Jensen laughs a little, holds him close and Jared wraps his arms around the strong and warm body of his boyfriend. It feels like heaven. And after the drive with Mike, where Jared tried not to be smacked from one side to the other of the car, this is really, really awesome.
When he looks up Jared actually blinks, because he can’t have been in the car that long. No way did he stay all way to Austin blindfolded and awake. Mike sort of swims into view behind Jensen, smiles and it’s actually genuine.
“You fell asleep halfway through Jay. And yes, this is Austin. And yes, I have been nice and awesome friend. Because really guys, you moping and being all depressed is really kind of bringing my mojo down. I haven’t been laid since Jensen is Mr. Über-grump here. I am doing it purely out of selfish reason. Oh and Jeff helped of course, paid for the gas.” Jared might be inclined to believe Mike if there hadn’t been this look in Mike’s eyes. Sometimes he can be an awesome friend.
It’s one of the few times Jared sees the thoughtful, caring man there instead of the chaotic free spirit he usually is. Jared smiles at him, a real smile.
It’s still raining when Jensen leans in and kisses him for the first time in weeks.
***
The sound of rain drops against the window makes him sleepy, even more than the evening with Jensen did. Jared sighs, snuggles closer into his bed and soaks of the warmth of the body next to him.
“Sleep, Jay. Been a long day for me. We got tomorrow.” Jensen mumbles against his ear, makes him shiver, makes him smile.
“Yeah, about that. How… how did you manage to get me off work?” Jared really wants to know how and why they haven’t thought about that earlier.
“Uhm… yeah. My boss wanted to know why I wasn’t sleeping. He is.. sort of really cool. I.. sorry.. I told him about your internship, how you aren’t good here. He is a back specialist, so he wanted to see you here in Austin because of your headaches. I… sort of made your brother call in at your office.. ‘cause well he sounds like you if he has to.”
Jared snorts, his brother and boyfriend are really sort of devilish. He likes it and he feels a little bad for Jensen because yeah his headaches have been epic lately and Jensen had to bear with him being a bitchy boyfriend.
“Do I have to be jealous? You are hanging out an awful lot with your boss.”
“Awww Jay. Never knew you cared so much.” Jensen laughs, and then kisses him deep and slow. Jared’s heart leaps in his chest. He missed this feeling so much. “Seriously, Jared.. No. No need to. Jeffrey is awesome but you know I have someone, so I don’t really notice anybody else.”
“You do?” Jared snuggles even closer, into Jensen and sighs contently. Skin in skin, closer than they have been in a while, it’s all he can think of right now. He loves how they are in their bed, in their home with their friends close and how he has Jensen at his side.
“Yeah. I do. Also, Jeffrey got you two days off and he said he might have an offer for you. So you, uhm… you should maybe come and see me at work before you go back to San Antonio.”
“An offer?”
Jensen nods against Jared’s neck.
“Yeah, said something about contacts and friends. We’ll see and I think it might be a way to get your out of that nightmare of and internship. I hate seeing you like this Jay. We’ll find a way. ‘M not gonna let you waste away there. ” Jensen’s arm wraps tightly around Jared’s chest and ice block feet press against Jared’s calves. This is how it’s supposed to be and Jared actually thinks about getting Mike something to say thank you.
“Yo bitches. Look up.” There is a flash, a thud and a curse. Jensen snorts and shakes his head again. He has perfected the art of throwing sneakers at Mike’s head and actually hitting the mark over the last few months. Jared is proud of him. He’ll secretly place a magnet next to Mike’s camera tomorrow though. No one needs to see pictures of Jensen and him being this close. It’s their moment. And no Thank you gift for Mike either.
Jared laughs out loud and the can hear Jeff doing the same at the other side of the door.
Yeah, so this day turned out to be not so bad after all.
So maybe life isn’t that unfair.
When he turns to kiss Jensen again Jared can taste the rain on his lips and savours the taste like it’s a part of Jensen. He reminds him of the first kiss they shared in weeks.
From now on rain will probably always have a different meaning to him.
Previous: "Wherein Jared’s brain doesn’t shut up…" & "Wherein Jensen doesn’t really know what’s going on…" & "Wherein Jared tries to figure what is appropriate for a first date" & "Wherein Jensen tries to survive meeting the parents"
Author:
the_milky_wayGenre: RPS, College!AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3.988
Warnings/Spoilers: none
Beta: Many thanks to A.
Disclaimer: This story is fictional (not real, didn't happen). Not true in any way. I don't own anything.
Summary: Life is really, really unfair.
Jared isn’t even exaggerating or something.
Notes: This was written for the March prompt at
notjustroomates.It was also written for
enablelove, who has been going through some rough times and for matalinolukaret, who said she wouldn't mind more of this verse.It's all their fault anyway. :=)
It is also the another part of the "Wherein Verse" but can be read as a standalone.
Wherein Jared tries to avoid losing his mind and being kidnapped by Mike
Life is really, really unfair.
Jared isn’t even exaggerating or something.
It’s just that there isn’t anything good going on in his life right now. Okay, he might be overdoing it just a tiny bit here but he feels like this. He feels like he is stuck in a caricature of his life and there isn’t anything he can do about it.
Okay, so there is something good in his life, maybe even more than just one thing, he just isn’t feeling it right now. Jensen isn’t even there, so Jared doesn’t count it anyway. But yeah, Jensen is the one really, really good thing in his life.
Still…
Life is unfair and doesn’t like Jared at all.
Because if it did, then he wouldn’t be stuck at his parent’s house in San Antonio with no chance to escape. His momma has been hovering for days now, not really know what to do with Jared or how to get him out of this funk. His dad keeps quiet, doesn’t push but looks worried all the same. Jared feels like a douche when he thinks about his parents.
He has been acting like one, too.
And all that because his timing sucks and Jensen’s isn’t any better either.
And the weather isn’t helping any.
***
When the opportunity to take on an internship at one of the best science labs in the state almost jumped at Jared he didn’t have any other chance but to say yes. The thing is that the lab is linked to the MIT and it’s his chance to make it, to get a foot in.
It had been a no-brainer really. No thinking, no discussing it, just saying yes. Jensen had been the first one to tell him to go, had been the first one to read the letter, sitting next to him when he opened it.
3 months away from campus, three months that make up half the credits he needs. Yeah, no way was he going to say no to this. He’d still have to take the exams at the end of the term but he knows he’ll be okay with those. There will still be some courses left he’ll has to take later, but right when they told him that yes he can go and do it Jared was in heaven.
He has no idea how it turned out to be one of the not so good decisions he’s made.
So there he is now, in San Antonio, not getting away for Spring Break, being stuck with work he can do in his sleep and studying a workload of three courses besides that. Yeah, he is a genius, he has not qualms admitting that, but even for him this is a lot.
He is living at home again, with his parents, away from his friends.
He has no time other than to sleep and eat and maybe shower sometimes. There is no going out, no shopping sprees with Megan, no quiet hour to read something that isn’t connected to engineering or science.
It’s almost like he is totally cut off from his own life, or rather, the life he used to have.
And most importantly, he is away from his boyfriend.
***
The internship sucks. Big time. It’s not what he had imagined.
It’s boring and he isn’t learning as much as he hoped he would. There are things he knows he can do better but is forced to do in a weird way because the boss wants it like that. There are things he isn’t allowed to do at all even though he already has completed every advanced course there is and knows what he is doing.
And no one is really listening to him. He is just a little intern, there to help, to hand things and to shut up. He knows it’s not a good start to tell your supervisor that things can be more effective, and he didn’t do it. He just said something to Jensen on the phone and his boss heard it.
Yeah, just one of his typical missteps. It’s just like him to built obstacles for himself and this time he’d really done himself in. His boss hasn’t really talked to him since then and Jared is kind of clueless about what he is supposed to do. Not only about the situation with his boss but in general as well.
No one seems to care what he does most of the time; only one of his three supervisors actually gives him tasks and makes sure that he actually gets what he is doing.
Jared desperately wants to go back to school, wants to be where he can life and be himself. He wants to be with his friends again, and actually be happy.
***
Jensen tries to cheer him up, tries to tell him that there is only a month left, and tries to call him every night if he can. It’s not enough. Not even close to ‘enough’ at all. It’s not the same as if Jensen was there, hugging him, kissing him, making him feel alive.
Jared misses Jensen terribly, can’t sleep well without the additional weight of Jensen’s arm across his chest or Jensen’s ice blocks of feet pressed against his calves. He hates having to get up without Jensen’s grumbled ‘morning’ or the hug and the kiss he always gets before he leaves the house.
He misses the small things, the little touches and kisses. Misses Jensen’s smile or smug smirk or the laughter he gets every time he can’t control his limps.
Jared even misses the sensation of blushing furiously whenever Jensen talks dirty or walks in on him in the bathroom. He misses feeling shy around his boyfriend, misses the feeling of his heart beating in his chest and feeling all warm and loved.
He misses Jensen.
***
They haven’t seen each other in weeks.
Four weeks and three days to be exact. It feels like a lifetime, like eternity. Megan laughed a good thirty minutes this morning when Jared actually complained into his breakfast cereal. Jared had snorted, and well snorted into his milk which had set Megan off again.
Jared’s momma didn’t find it all that amusing but when Jared whined about not having Jensen there for the nth time in days she had just sighed, tousled his hair and had gone to call Jeff. Jared doesn’t know what that was about but he knows it was about him. He feels a little bad for heaving that all on his parents.
He is miserable and he wants everyone around him to either pick him up or be miserable with him. He is selfish when it comes to missing Jensen. He’s just very glad that his family is so awesome.
***
Jared is on withdrawal. Jensen-withdrawal and it’s brutal.
He’d never thought he’d be that attached to another human being. He would have never thought that not being with Jensen would be this… painful.
Megan has called him all kinds of pathetic during the last few weeks. But he can’t help it. He feels like half of him is missing, not there and he can’t function right without this half. It’s clichéd as hell and he snorts every time he actually thinks about it but he so doesn’t care.
Jared wonders if throwing a fit like a five year old would help. Like him flailing, crying and stomping his feet, screaming that he wants his Jensen is actually something he might consider. He has sunken low, very low.
Jeff and Mike would love to see it though.
They already have enough blackmail material though. They don’t even pick up the phone anymore when he calls the house because they know he’ll whine at them until they hand it over to Jensen when he is home.
They do, however, try to record every conversation Jensen and he have. Jared isn’t very amused about that. Thankfully, the recording device Mike got from a very dubious friend of his, clicks very audibly when it is switched on. Jared has stopped counting the times he’s used his sister’s ‘danger’ whistle.
Talking to Jensen helps, though. A little at least.
Jensen is busy as hell, too. Can’t even afford to really take a break during Spring Break. He is working his ass of to finish Grad School earlier, to get the job he has been offered. They are actually waiting for him.
It sort of helps that this job is in Boston. It’s one of the few incentives he has to survive this internship and not abort it right then and there. He needs the credits, needs a good recommendation to send with his application to MIT. There is no way he’ll let Jensen slip off to Boston all on his own.
Jensen spends a lot of time in lab and at the hospital. He tells Jared about his awesome boss and how his internship is sort of really going along with everything in Grad school. Jared knows he should feel jealous, only he does.
He wants to have something like that, too. Wants to be less bored and more challenged. He wants to have people he gets along with and can work with. He basically wants what Jensen has, preferably somewhere close to Jensen. Jared, though, can’t bring himself to begrudge his boyfriend. It wouldn’t be like him and he actually feels good about being unable to not be happy for Jensen.
But…
Things feel like they are on a hold though. They talk, they even talk dirty. But it’s nothing compared to what they used to do when they were together. It feels like they are drifting apart, like they are sort of starting different lives already.
Jared tries not to think about it all too much though. He hears Jensen talk about his day, thinks how much he is missing and how he’d love to just take his care and drive up there. It’s been like this since New Years and Jared feels his heart ache a little at the thought that this might be their future.
Just long calls at the end of the day without really seeing each other anymore. Just telling about their lives, not being part of them.
Jared feels like crying every time he allows his mind to drift this way.
Jensen hasn’t given any indication that he feels like this as well, so Jared feels even more like an insecure idiot and never really tells Jensen about his fears. He feels young, inexperienced compared to Jensen, feels like he isn’t really all what Jensen might want from life, from a relationship. No matter what everyone says, Jared can’t help feeling this way.
Not being with Jensen for so long isn’t doing him any good.
It can’t be healthy to be that dependent on someone. His momma though, thinks it’s just natural, with the way they are together.
Jeff claims Jensen feels the same, mopes, is bitchy and grumbly, and never really goes out anymore. And Jared hates knowing how miserable Jensen is. He just doesn’t know what to do about it. He has no clue how to reassure Jensen when he himself can’t even talk about what’s going on in his head.
Jeff thinks Jared is just sex starved, thinks that not getting laid regularly is bringing the emo back. Sometimes Jared is inclined to agree, he hasn’t jerked off this much since he was 14. He is incredibly glad that his momma never really comes into his room anymore without knocking.
****
The rain has been there for days now. It’s not exactly cold but not all that spring-like either. And it’s most definitely not helping his mood. Not at all.
Jared groans at himself, bangs his head against the window and just lets it rest there for a while. It’s his only day off in weeks. Half day off actually, no time to get his car and drive to Jensen. Not that his momma would let him drive. She thinks he is too tired to even walk to the store a few blocks away.
Maybe she is right. Jared sighs, watches the rain drops slide down the glass, seeing nothing but the water and the grey of the sky. It fits his state of mind.
“Hey loser.”
Jared jumps, bangs his elbow on the window sill and curses out loud. He is glad his parents aren’t home. He flails a little, actually stumbles and only rights himself when the flash goes off. Of course…
“Mike! God dammit!” Jared scowls, doesn’t really know what to do now or how to react. Mike has never been here, never been in the house or the room. Jared is sort of clueless about what to feel about it all.
He certainly is confused.
“What… Mike? What are you doing here? How… I mean.. I…. What?”
Mike’s already cackling, close to laughing his ass of already. It’s not an unusual sight but Jared wants to clock him because he needs answers and that now.
“Mike!”
“Sorry. Sorry. But Jeff said you’d start rambling. So yeah.. Jeff said you could use some pick me up. So here, I am. Free as a bird for a week and I’ll kidnap you now.” Mike is smirking, devilish and not at all apologetic for crashing in on Jared.
“Kidnap me? What? No.. you can’t. I have... man, I have to stay here. Have work to do.”
“You are sick.” Mike says with such a conviction that Jared can’t respond for a second there.
“Sick?”
“Yep.”
“What?”
“Man, for a genius you are really sort of dense.” Mike says. “You. Are. Sick. With a note from a doctor and all. So you can actually come with me now.”
“Uh… But..” Jared looks around, uncertain, looking for a hidden camera or you know, help. He almost aspects Jeff top show up as well and explain. But nothing happens, only Mike dragging him away from the window sill and out of the room.
“Mike.. what… Where did I get that note from?”
“Jenny boy.”
“But he’s not a doctor… yet. How?”
“God, man, can you can it with the questions? I feel like I am dragging my little nephew around. In your case it would be niece of course.” Mike doesn’t let go but isn’t answering any more questions either.
Jared only has one chance to get his shoes, hops around behind Mike without falling on his face, grabs his keys and his jacket. The second he steps outside he shivers. The rain hits him right in the face and he tries to duck away from it.
Mike’s not having any of it though, he keeps on dragging.
Jared stumbles, curses again and gets soaked.
Yeah, life is really, really unfair and doesn’t like Jared at all. This is certainly not what Jared had pictured his day to go. He’d planned to spend the day inside, working on his course load and maybe trying to sleep for some hours.
Being kidnapped by Mike is something isn’t all that keen on but he isn’t really fighting it either. If he is honest he doesn’t mind it as much as he should. He really needs to get out of the house. He wishes that it wouldn’t be Mike doing the dragging though.
The spike of disappointment that it isn’t Jensen hurts a little but Jared swallows it all done and lets himself being dragged towards Mike’s sorry excuse for a car. Jared barely fits into front seat, wonders how Mike manages it, the man isn’t a midget after all.
“Okay, turn towards me. Come on, Jay-bear, stop moping. All’s going well.” Mike smirks again and Jared actually considers fearing for his life, but he turns towards Mike anyway.
“And now what? Gonna make me sing a song or something? You know I hate your karaoke tapes in the car.”
“Shut it. They are brilliant and awesome.” Mike flails a little, moves and almost brains Jared with his elbow. Jared just sighs, because yeah, this is Mike after all. But when Mike comes up with a scarf and goes for Jared’s eyes he jerks back and smacks against the window.
“Ow. Mike? What…” Jared flaps his hand when Mike moves in again, actually connects with the hand closest to him but it doesn’t seem to help much anyway. Mike is relentless.
“Let me, Jay. It’s not a proper kidnapping without a blindfold.”
“Kinky.”
“Dude. No. Just… no. Ewwww. And Jenny-bean will kill me. Your ass is his anyway. I am not taking cast offs.” Mike sounds way too smug, looks it, too. Jared, again, feels the urge to hit him. He never knows when to take Mike serious and when not. Even after years of living with the guy Jared finds him as unpredictable as he did on the first day.
Mike raises an eyebrow, clearly a dare and Jared knows he won’t be able to resist that. He doesn’t know what it is about Mike that makes people do things, stupid things mostly. Jared always finds himself sort of unable to defend himself against whatever power Mike has. O he nods and only feels slightly freaked out when it goes dark around him.
“Don’t peek.. or I’ll kill you.”
Jared actually believes him. It’s Mike after all.
***
Jared fidgets feels uncomfortable and sort out of it.
He doesn’t know how long they actually drove, but it’s been quite a while. They are parked now, not moving and Mikes has left him in the car. Alone and blindfolded. Yeah, Jared doesn’t feel stupid at all.
Why does he always get himself into one of Mike’s schemes? He doesn’t know.
He is still soaked, his jeans cling to his cold skin and he shivers a little. He pats his pockets, looks for his cell and groans out loud when he realizes that he left it in his room. In the rush to know knock himself out while Mike dragged him through the house Jared had totally forgotten about his cell phone.
Great, now he can’t even call Jensen – or anybody else for the matter – for help. And Jensen can’t reach him either.
Jared feels a little sick. Just a little though, because he’s certainly fulfilled his quota of being pathetic already and it will probably last for a lifetime.
The knock at the window makes him jump. Hard and high. He almost conks himself out when his head hits the roof of the car and his temple smacks into the handle above the side window. Yeah, when it comes to harming himself Jared can definitely be graceful.
Very graceful.
The door is yanked open then and warm hands are on his face. The blindfold is taken away and Jared blinks blearily into the grey sky. It’s still a little too much light for his eyes.
“God. I am so sorry. I didn’t see the blindfold… What the fuck Mike?... Jay? Jared. You okay? Look at me, come on.. Open your eyes.”
Jensen. It’s Jensen and his hands are all over Jared. Jensen sounds frantic there and the only thing Jared can do is sigh and sag forward, right into Jensen’s arms.
“Jensen? Jen… Hey… I am good. Just.. ow.”
Jensen laughs a little, holds him close and Jared wraps his arms around the strong and warm body of his boyfriend. It feels like heaven. And after the drive with Mike, where Jared tried not to be smacked from one side to the other of the car, this is really, really awesome.
When he looks up Jared actually blinks, because he can’t have been in the car that long. No way did he stay all way to Austin blindfolded and awake. Mike sort of swims into view behind Jensen, smiles and it’s actually genuine.
“You fell asleep halfway through Jay. And yes, this is Austin. And yes, I have been nice and awesome friend. Because really guys, you moping and being all depressed is really kind of bringing my mojo down. I haven’t been laid since Jensen is Mr. Über-grump here. I am doing it purely out of selfish reason. Oh and Jeff helped of course, paid for the gas.” Jared might be inclined to believe Mike if there hadn’t been this look in Mike’s eyes. Sometimes he can be an awesome friend.
It’s one of the few times Jared sees the thoughtful, caring man there instead of the chaotic free spirit he usually is. Jared smiles at him, a real smile.
It’s still raining when Jensen leans in and kisses him for the first time in weeks.
***
The sound of rain drops against the window makes him sleepy, even more than the evening with Jensen did. Jared sighs, snuggles closer into his bed and soaks of the warmth of the body next to him.
“Sleep, Jay. Been a long day for me. We got tomorrow.” Jensen mumbles against his ear, makes him shiver, makes him smile.
“Yeah, about that. How… how did you manage to get me off work?” Jared really wants to know how and why they haven’t thought about that earlier.
“Uhm… yeah. My boss wanted to know why I wasn’t sleeping. He is.. sort of really cool. I.. sorry.. I told him about your internship, how you aren’t good here. He is a back specialist, so he wanted to see you here in Austin because of your headaches. I… sort of made your brother call in at your office.. ‘cause well he sounds like you if he has to.”
Jared snorts, his brother and boyfriend are really sort of devilish. He likes it and he feels a little bad for Jensen because yeah his headaches have been epic lately and Jensen had to bear with him being a bitchy boyfriend.
“Do I have to be jealous? You are hanging out an awful lot with your boss.”
“Awww Jay. Never knew you cared so much.” Jensen laughs, and then kisses him deep and slow. Jared’s heart leaps in his chest. He missed this feeling so much. “Seriously, Jared.. No. No need to. Jeffrey is awesome but you know I have someone, so I don’t really notice anybody else.”
“You do?” Jared snuggles even closer, into Jensen and sighs contently. Skin in skin, closer than they have been in a while, it’s all he can think of right now. He loves how they are in their bed, in their home with their friends close and how he has Jensen at his side.
“Yeah. I do. Also, Jeffrey got you two days off and he said he might have an offer for you. So you, uhm… you should maybe come and see me at work before you go back to San Antonio.”
“An offer?”
Jensen nods against Jared’s neck.
“Yeah, said something about contacts and friends. We’ll see and I think it might be a way to get your out of that nightmare of and internship. I hate seeing you like this Jay. We’ll find a way. ‘M not gonna let you waste away there. ” Jensen’s arm wraps tightly around Jared’s chest and ice block feet press against Jared’s calves. This is how it’s supposed to be and Jared actually thinks about getting Mike something to say thank you.
“Yo bitches. Look up.” There is a flash, a thud and a curse. Jensen snorts and shakes his head again. He has perfected the art of throwing sneakers at Mike’s head and actually hitting the mark over the last few months. Jared is proud of him. He’ll secretly place a magnet next to Mike’s camera tomorrow though. No one needs to see pictures of Jensen and him being this close. It’s their moment. And no Thank you gift for Mike either.
Jared laughs out loud and the can hear Jeff doing the same at the other side of the door.
Yeah, so this day turned out to be not so bad after all.
So maybe life isn’t that unfair.
When he turns to kiss Jensen again Jared can taste the rain on his lips and savours the taste like it’s a part of Jensen. He reminds him of the first kiss they shared in weeks.
From now on rain will probably always have a different meaning to him.
Previous: "Wherein Jared’s brain doesn’t shut up…" & "Wherein Jensen doesn’t really know what’s going on…" & "Wherein Jared tries to figure what is appropriate for a first date" & "Wherein Jensen tries to survive meeting the parents"
